The Cadillac of Manliness
The Mixed Elbow

Since living in Chicago a lot of people have asked me if growing up in Alabama was difficult. I always say in certain aspects due to a close-minded nature regarding a lot of things. In high school I was kind of an outcast from most of the black kids because I “acted white” and I couldn’t date any of the white girls because I was “actually black.” It never was a matter of me not liking black girls too. I liked everybody. Just not everybody liked me and I was fine with that because I had great friends and masturbation like any teen boy would be sufficient with while growing a small chip on my shoulder as a result.

Once I got older I was able to date across the board. I dated girls of different ages, religions, and races because I found something attractive about them or was drunk enough to pretend. I found myself adhering to one unspoken rule as a black man that once you start dating attractive white women you can’t go back to the ones that perpetuate the stereotype that black dudes like fat white chicks. I solely blame fat white chicks for this one. There are more than enough white guys with sleeveless shirts who are willing to marry you over Jerome who has numbers for his nearest cross streets.
Either way I’ve always been a big supporter of interracial couples and enjoy the fact that in cities like Atlanta, Chicago and New York they don’t really think about race in relationships mostly because there are guys who regularly walk around with tattoos on their faces.

Recently back in Alabama it came under fire the question of interracial babies. What would you do with a biracial baby? Who would the child identify with? Wouldn’t the kid be ridiculed because s/he is a mix of black and white? Why hasn’t this caramel child melted in the sun yet? 
Some of my best and most successful friends are the products of interracial relationships (one has his own show on Adult Swim that you should watch). They live normal lives. If there is someone who has a problem with a biracial kid I would think that would speak volumes about that person, not the kid. Most of us are a mix of something anyways. My mom’s great grandfather is full Native American. I have Vietnamese cousins living in Detroit. They all managed to live happy, normal lives with people of different backgrounds. The first human bones were discovered in Africa so as much as you might hate to think about it, you probably got your wide nose from a dude the shade of midnight thousands of years ago.

If you can’t handle the thought of a mixed person take a second to think about the coolest human being in the universe- Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
 

Let’s face it, The Rock has it all- looks, charm, humor, strength, and success. And he’s the product of racial intermingling! Was The Rock picked on for being mixed growing up? I don’t know- but name one person who may have bullied The Rock that is doing something meaningful with their life…… Exxxxxxactly. Now name something you’ve seen The Rock in. That’s right, ANYTHING WORTH WATCHING. Also, look at this dude’s smile. That would make any Klanswoman (or KKKaren) swoon! 

In the end, Dwayne Johnson is the perfect example of why a healthy and happy life can be had if it isn’t dictated by negativity due to the differences in race in one’s familial life. We all enjoy ice cream but it always tastes better with a little extra something. You can eat vanilla ice cream and it taste good but put some chocolate syrup on it and you have a special treat, jabroni. 

Upcoming Shows!

ETC Presents Vulcan’s Underpants
When: Saturday, May 26th 8:00 PM
Where:Theatre Downtown (upstairs of 5th Ave. Antiques) 2410 5th Ave. S Birmingham, AL
Why: My last show in Birmingham before heading up to Chicago to start my work with Second City Bench Co.! It’s fast paced improv in the style of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’ If you’ve ever been a friend, enemy, or seen me perform while in the Magic City then this is the show I want you to be at.
Advance tickets available at www.etcbham.com

Laugh and a Half
When: Thursday, May 31st 9:00 PM
Where: Snuggery Pub 15 West Division St. Chicago, IL
Why: One of the best new stand-up showcases in Chicago I’ve been told. Why would you be a jerk and not be apart of seeing that?

Southern Discomfort
When: Saturday, June 2nd 11:00 PM
Where: MPaact Theatre 2257 N. Lincoln Ave, Chicago, IL
Why: It’s my one man show where I talk about growing up in Birmingham, coming back to Birmingham, the fear of stereotypes, and my love of interracial dating and the parents that hate me for it. It will hopefully be enlightening to a point and also funny.
Tickets available at http://mpaact.tix.com/schedule.asp?actcode=76716

A Night of Effen Comedy 13
When: Thursday, June 7 8:00 PM
Where: Zodiac Cafe & Lounge 113 N. Main Street Crown Point, IN
Why: It’s the show to round out the year of this show being around and I’m headlining! With Nathyn Gibson and Odinaka “OD” Ezeokoli we’re probably going to get stinky on stage.

Comedy Booze Cruise
When: Friday, June 8 10:00 PM
Where: On a boat in Knoxville, TN
Why: Because it’s a boat. Where everyone gets drunk. And you watch comedy. Plus the Manute Bols of Comedy are takin’ over!

Come out to ‘em!
- @martinMmorrow

A ton of great interviews conducted by me on comedy.

Interview with the Bambi Killers AKA BEST INTERVIEW EVER

I ventured long and far to find the manliest band that ears could contain. My journey brought me to New York where I found a band that rocked so hard that it made Zeus- the manliest of the Gods- weep tears of lightning. To my chagrin this band was not like any other…they were all women and they destroyed minds with awesome. I was able to sort through my fear and urine soaked man jeans to find that they were the Bambi Killers and they had to be interviewed. This is their story…

What are the origins of the Bambi Killers?
In an attempt to reach a mass kinetic consciousness and synchronicity within the
universe The Bambi killers have traveled from the 4th dimension hoping to convey a
deeper understanding and promote free-thinking.

Tell the Cadillac of Manliness readers a little bit about yourselves,
individually and how you came to be a Bambi Killer.
The Bambi Killers have taken shape as half sisters in a post post modern punk
cabaret vaudeville show where their sweet smiles and feminine charms are tools by
default.  The Bambi killers fuse theatrical agility, live music and magic to lift
the veil of deceit in such areas as consumerism, shadow government, new world order
government and corporate brainwashing.

Dawn Harlot Dupre
By the age of 13 Dawn had developed a nasty addiction to government conspiracy
theories and anarchy.  While trying to infiltrate the illuminati and expose the
reptilian race secretly running our government from the 4th dimension, Dawn, on a
whim joined a crust punk band and fell in love with a particularly dirty half dead
throw away child.   After several world tours Dawn decided to leave the band and
join the Bambi Killers with her two sisters, putting to use her theatrical and dance
skills newly learned from indigenous Tibetan Sherpa tribes.  Aside from Bambi
Killers Dawn enjoys skating half pipes, quantum physics, samurai sword fighting and
seducing rich men and then ripping their hearts out.

Meghan Jade Dupre
As a child it was immediately evident that Meghan was not your normal child.  She
began talking at 6 months and by her 3rd birthday she had mastered three languages.
 Unfortunately Meghan was struck by lightning twice during her teenage years and
lost use of 1/2 of her brain.  She has since mastered transcendental meditation and
mind manipulation.  Meghan has also perfected the aerial arts focusing on the
trapeze and aerial silks most recently she learned how to fly.  In her spare time
Meghan enjoys crack fueled street fights and brainwashing total strangers.

Tanya Tart Dupre
As the baby of the group Tanya was at constant struggle for acceptance and
attention. Feeling the need to prove her value, she would plan and execute advanced
robberies to supply her sisters with basic needs.  She’d refer to these involved
heists as “Operation Toilet Paper.” Justifying any consequence with the liberty of
personal fairness and adoration for Robin Hood. Along with her slight of hand
skills, she could sense the appropriate time to enter and leave a room. A skill,
which she soon applied as a practiced palm reader for a six-dollar fee. After
collecting more supplies and money than needed, confusion set in and another attempt
at attention was made resulting in a very large fire.  Using triangulation, Tanya
can rebuild and maintain her initial talents with a better understanding of
resources and longevity. In the meantime, she is practicing her vocal scales and
recording music made from street trash.

What does it take to be a Bambi Killer?
The ability to bend space and time also dimensional travel comes in handy



How would you describe your sound to a deaf man?
Raw, neandrathol

If you were to actually kill Bambi (the Disney version, not the book),
what method of murder would you use?
Chainsaw!!

The Bambi Killers have quite an interesting and exciting stage show, what
elements go into the whole presentation?
The process always begins with a message, & a story… We fuel a practiced formula

of music, theatrics, stage combat, vaudevillian horror, burlesque, magic & lots more

as a means to explosively relate our anti- brainwashing agenda!

As a big fan of family and zombies I was glad to hear the song you guys
have called “Uncle Zombie”. While I take it to mean the downfall of the
economy, what does the song mean to you?
Yeah the downfall of the economy…. Definitely government/ corporate brainwashing
and consumerism are a big part of it.   Also Hollywood, the media, Facebook etc are
all helping to turn people into zombies.

At the beginning of “Work” what is the medicine that side effects are
being read from?
Dry mouth, nausea, constipation, irritable bowl syndrome, urge to purge,
homosexuality, unexpected pregnancy, hallucination, and death.

What type of manly man does it take to be with a Bambi Killer?
Men generally (with exceptions) have a hard time adjusting to Bambi killer life. It
can be hard to accept for instance, that they are not themselves, a Bambi killer.
But a special few have slipped through the cracks & successfully become a part of the movement of radical free-thinking.

Are men usually too intimidated to approach The Bambi Killers after shows?
No, they are usually drunk & inhibition free. Also, they tend to be so excited to
have discovered the secret. Though occasionally, this turns out bad for them- like
when it ends their real relationships with real girlfriends. This is an ongoing
problem.

I’m trying to start a punk group of manly men and I’m working on a few
names, tell me what you think of each name and which one is the clear winner

1) The All Around Them Dick Boyz: The Z makes it extreme

2) Harry Murder & The Murder’s Murder: It’s a play on Harry Potter, the
manliest of wizard books

 3) Mexican Coffee Fart: We’d have a hit single called “Loco Mocha”

 4) Nacho 3D Doritos X: We’re sponsored by Tostitos.

5) Thumper Revivers: We’d be a reverse cover band of the Bambi Killers

I thought this interview was about us!
I am not big into Harry Potter… I love coffee too much not to take it seriously so
that scratches that one… If you started a bk cover band I could only be honored.

Where can fans see you perform next or pick up some of your music?
We will be playing los angeles again in April (venue/date tbd)
May -Horriblefest in Cleveland, OH
And probably a NYC show in may as well

You can find more on the Bambi Killers at the following:
bambikillersnyc.com<
http://bambikillersnyc.com>
facebook.com/bambikillersnyc<
http://facebook.com/bambikillersnyc>
myspace.com/bambikillersnyc<
http://myspace.com/bambikillersnyc>

twitter.com/bambikillersnyc

Facebook Friend of the Week

The Cadillac of Manliness meets a lot of people during his epic travels and adventures from all different walks of life. Instead of slaying them or laying them, he sometimes adds them as a friend of facebook.
Here is the first Facebook Friend of the Week: Katie Burton

Name: Katie Burton

Nicknames: Katie Burton…

Known for: My ridiculously good looks and endearing personality. In other words, not much yet.

Occupation: Actor/Singer

Relationship Status: Happily single-ish yet exclusively dating someone. Sound complicated? It’s not. That’s why I like it.

How to Win Your Heart: I’m drawn to hipsters. Not “look at me I wear plaid and thick framed glasses” hipsters. But real deep thinking, artistic, unique guys. And play drums, guitar, or keys and I’ll throw my panties at you… I won’t really do that. Sorry. Oh and a sense of humor. Not just any sense of humor. A good one.

The Deal Breaker: I broke up with a guy once solely because he said my taste in music sucked and my obsession with my record player was unhealthy. His favorite band was Nickelback. Enough said.

Manliest Trait: Mine? Well I can eat an entire pizza and bag of Tostitos in one sitting. I also prefer jeans to skirts. And I keep my emotions to myself.

Favorite Status Update: What does that mean?

Follow me on twitter: Katie_A_Burton